how to become more decisive

In a world filled with choices and endless possibilities, the ability to make decisions is a crucial skill for personal and professional development and growth. As a mental health counselor, I often witness the struggles individuals face when grappling with indecision. You may struggle with indecisiveness if you…

Fear making the wrong choice: Fear of choosing the “wrong” option (in a job, relationship, etc.) may make it difficult to move forward and can cause analysis-paralysis or anxiety.
Fear rejection or disapproval from others: Indecisive individuals often desire approval and acceptance from others. They may seek validation and fear making choices that could lead to criticism or rejection. This can cause you to make decisions or choices based on external expectations rather than personal desires and values.
Fear of uncertainty: Fear of not knowing the outcome or the “best” decision can cause anxiety, hesitation, shut down, avoidance, and low self-esteem. At heightened levels, fear of uncertainty can cause an individual to make virtually no decisions, preferring to let others make decisions for them.

Understanding the Roots of Indecisiveness

Fear of Failure:

One of the primary factors that impacts decisiveness is a fear of failure. You may find yourself paralyzed by the thought of making the wrong choice, which leads to overthinking and second-guessing every decision. As a therapist, I often encourage clients to reframe their perspective on failure, viewing it not as a setback but as an opportunity for learning and growth. By embracing failure as a natural part of life, you can alleviate the pressure and make decisions with greater ease.

Fear of Disapproval:

The fear of disapproval from others is another common obstacle to decisiveness. People may be hesitant to make choices that go against societal expectations or worry about disappointing their loved ones or parents. To overcome this fear, it is essential to prioritize your own values and needs. As a therapist, I guide clients in developing a strong sense of self-awareness, helping them understand that their decisions should align with their personal goals and values, rather than seeking external validation.

Overwhelming Options:

In today's fast-paced world, the abundance of choices can be overwhelming, leading to decision fatigue and indecisiveness. Clients often express feeling paralyzed when faced with numerous options, fearing they will make the wrong choice. To combat this, I encourage individuals to break down decisions into smaller, more manageable steps. By focusing on one aspect at a time, individuals can reduce the cognitive load and make more confident decisions.

Desire for Perfection:

The desire for perfection is common among indecisive individuals who set unrealistically high standards for themselves. They may fear making imperfect choices and strive for flawless decision-making. This desire can contribute to a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, as individuals grapple with the pressure to meet unattainable standards.

Desire for Security and Predictability:

Indecisive individuals may crave security and predictability in their lives (Hello, Enneagram 6!). They may prefer to stick with familiar routines and avoid decisions that introduce uncertainty. This desire can limit personal and professional growth, as individuals may resist stepping outside their comfort zones to explore new opportunities, preferring the safe route.

Tips for Becoming More Decisive

Cultivate Self-Awareness:

Developing a strong sense of self-awareness is crucial for making informed decisions. A way to cultivate awareness is to reflect on your values, priorities, and long-term goals. I recommend daily journaling to develop awareness of your desires and patterns. By understanding yourself on a deeper level, you can make decisions that align with your values and authentic self.

Set Realistic Goals:

Breaking down larger decisions into smaller, achievable goals can make the decision-making process less daunting. By setting realistic and attainable milestones, you can build momentum and gain confidence in their ability to make decisions. I also call this the, “Best Next Step.” When a decision feels scary to make, focus on the “best next step.” What can I do now, in this moment? Not a week from now or five years from now.

Embrace Imperfection:

Perfectionism is a common roadblock to decisiveness. Remember this: Perfection is unattainable and making mistakes is a natural part of the human experience. Shift your mindset from fearing failure to viewing it as an opportunity for growth and resilience. Failure is normal and expected.

Becoming more decisive is a journey that involves self-discovery, goal-setting, and embracing imperfection. Remember, the path to decisiveness is unique for each person, and with patience and self-compassion, anyone can enhance their ability to make choices that align with their true selves.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.