a reminder to not diffuse your power

Several years ago, RJ and I made an offer on our first office building in Acworth. On July 11, 2020, the seller of the building accepted our offer.

In my journal, on July 12th of 2020, I wrote, “I'm 100 parts scared and thrilled.”

I also wrote down this quote from Audre Lorde, “When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision – then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

This is one of my favorite things: To dare to be powerful. To dare at all.

To be honest, daring to be powerful is something that doesn't come naturally to me in light of anxiety, self-doubt, and insecurity that feel more comfortable – and familiar. If you're reading this right now, chances are you might feel the same way. How can I expect to be daring/powerful/bold when anxiety is often the loudest voice in my head?

To me, daring to be powerful is a choice that we make despite fear and anxiety. It's not a skill that comes naturally for some and skips the rest of us. It can be cultivated. So if you're up for it, I think it's important to ask: In what ways can I step into bravery and power?

On July 12th, I also journaled this quote from Sue Monk Kidd:

“It's true that power can come from the flexibility of doing many things, but sometimes the multiplicity, the moving from one thing to another, is overdone and we diffuse our power. There are times it is best to dam up the tributaries and send the energy thundering in just one direction. All great things are launched on big rivers.”

On this day, I decided to dam up the tributaries and send my power thundering in one direction – the direction of launching Atlanta Wellness Collective into the world.

I think we often diffuse our power by overcommitment – moving from thing to thing. I also think we're too overcommitted in general. When we take on too much, we're unable to send our energy in a direction of most importance. We're pulled in too many directions. Each thing getting a small part of our focus, our gifts, our strength. Our fullness of and power of presence is weakened.

I think what enables us to be bold/effective/powerful is focusing on what matters most – our utmost priority.

According to a popular article I read a while back, the word priorities rarely appeared in print before the 1940s when “time management” became a popular subject and “experts” turned singular priority into multiple priorities. You see, the word priority comes from the Latin prioritas, meaning “first in rank or order” – there can only be one priority by definition.

In today's world, I believe we're mistaken with (and stressed out by) the belief that we can hold many priorities. When everything matters, nothing matters. When everything steals our focus and attention, our power is diluted and weakened. Distraction, overcommitment, and a weak sense of “what matters most to me” create anxiety and overwhelm. Even burnout. They're changing how we view ourselves. Changing how we view our time. We have to be very careful not to be doing-all-the-things that we're too tired for the-most-important-things.

This week, I encourage you to dam up the tributaries in your life that are taking energy from your big-river-flowing. Stop scrolling. Go to bed earlier. Start that thing you've been wanting to start. Make the appointment. Be present. Get focused. Quit a few things. Say no. Don't respond. Reflect. Turn off your notifications. Leave your phone at home.

At my monthly pregnancy appointment yesterday, I noticed that every woman in the waiting room was scrolling. Staring at her phone. I challenged myself to keep my phone in my purse – as long as it took for the doctor to call me from the waiting room. I closed my eyes and meditated. I prayed for RJ. I sat there. I looked around the room, noticing my surroundings. It felt uncomfortable. A few women looked at me oddly for sitting there without my face in my screen. The first time you try this – unplugging, plugging into the world around you – you may notice that it feels weird. But as you unplug more, you might notice less anxiety. More space for mindfulness and presence.

I can't say that less distraction, less commitment, less being pulled in different directions will solve anything immediately. But I can tell you that it feels daring and powerful to narrow your energy. Giving less energy to things that don't matter. Giving more energy to what matters most.

In the two years since our doors opened at Atlanta Wellness Collective Acworth, I can't say I've accomplished much other than growing the company and serving the people who God has brought there. In under two years, we've grown to over 23 providers, thousands of clients, two offices in two different cities. I believe this has come from my declaration in July 2020 – to block the tributaries and use my power in one thundering direction – laser focused, not comparing to others around us, following God's nudges and direction, keeping our focus on what matters most, a lot of saying no to what doesn't.

I hope you're willing to explore the ways in which you're diffusing your power. So often we're caught up in spreading ourselves thin. We're overcommitted. Drained. Ineffective. Focused on the wrong things. Wasting time.

I hope you'll build a life focused on what matters most to you. That you'll dare to be powerful in spite of fear. That you'll live differently – with laser focus on your calling.

Imagine a world where we're all powerfully thundering down stream in one direction – undistracted, attentive, ready, bold.